Disclaimer: Neither of these characters are mine. Mooks are KJ's, and she's adorable.
Laying In His Arms
By Lise Williams
... His hands are around my waist.
I can't believe it.
Remy LeBeau is a catch. I don't care who you are, whether you hate him, think he's pond scum... to anyone on this earth, he's a catch. Reputation alone makes him worthy of royalty. Hell, he's probably HAD royalty, back in the old days of wining and dining. I can just see it, Gambit, suave as ever, escorting the princess of Monaco or something, while the rest of the European aristocracy watches with envy and amazement.
'What a catch,' they'd say. 'Wouldn't it be lovely if *I* could get me some of that,' they'd be really thinking.
... And his arms are around MY waist.
Get a grip, Drake. Let's be reasonable. You're not the princess of Monaco, you don't have exotic beauty that rivals the Miss Universe pageant winners, you're not anything special. Remy is special. He's just enjoying an after-sex cigarette, right? He's not really enjoying YOU, he's enjoying any company, and that's it, don't get so excited...
He's rubbing my back. Just small touches, right between my shoulder blades -- little caresses, and they make me feel so warm. I can't ignore what it might mean, and how much more it makes me feel. Why the touch of Remy LeBeau would make me feel so much more than I actually am isn't something I want to think about, because I'm just going to get disappointed. But his fingers are warm, and he's stroking my back, and it's not sexual at all, and that makes it so much more important.
It doesn't mean anything. Really. Touching is just touching.
But why would you do that to someone who was just property? I don't want to think about that. I don't want to wonder. I'm just going to lay here, and snuggle, and enjoy it.
Because, like all those other dames, and probably guys too, I'm falling for Gambit. He's such a catch, and he's wonderful to fantasize about -- he's the eternal rogue and charmer, and so beautiful. How could anyone not fall for Gambit?
That sounds so strange, and frightening, and almost wonderful, to say. I'm falling for Gambit.
But more importantly, I'm falling for Remy.
I almost say 'I love y', but then I remember that I don't have t'lie this time. I don't have t'pretend, and say those words, because he doesn't ask for th'lie. It's amazin'. I don't have t'lie this time.
Not wit' Bobby.
He doesn't demand that lie. He doesn't ask me to be in a place that maybe I'm not. I don't want t'ask him, but I think maybe he even understands that I might be *scared* to be in that place. And he doesn't ask, he just gives. I can touch him now, I can hold him, and he's not constantly evaluatin' why.
I love that about him.
I don' think I'm ready to tell'im, but I can think it, jus'once, layin' here. Know why? I don' feel anything but *here* right now. He's lettin' me jus' be me, jus' touch him. I don't have to think 'bout the fightin' that might kill us tomorrow.
I can' get over how good he smells, either.
Jus' listen to me. I'm supposed to be a womanizer, the one that people can' believe they're in bed wit'. Here he is, jus' layin' there and I bet he doesn' even get that bit.
I love him for that even more.
I know I should get up, but I really, really, really don't want to. Each time this ends, and one or both of us have to get to the Danger Room for training, or go have a shower because of Wolverine, or something....
I'm scared he's not going to want me to come back, of course.
Who wouldn't be?
Even Rogue, whom he loved through and through, was scared he was going to leave and not come back. She might as well have told me. But I'm in his room, so he can't leave, and I take advantage of that every single time.
He can't leave, so I really, really don't want to. I know I've trapped him, but he doesn't seem to mind *that* much, and it's so little, and not very often, so why can't I take it?
I think he likes me.
I really, really like him.
So I'm not going to leave until the sun's all the way up this morning.
But it's rising pretty fast.
I bury my head against his shoulder, and feel his warm, very naked body
beside me. He's really beautiful. I don't want to leave, but eventually
I'm going to have to. So I just enjoy it now, and hope he asks me back
I don't think I've ever seen a sunrise this pretty, or had a smoke that tasted this good.
Bobby was so delicious last night. Th'things he can do wit' that tongue... Dieu. Y'gotta figure he's built for sex, jus' t'see him go at everything so... vehemently. I don't think there are words f'last night, but what a happy man I'd be if I could live in it forever.
Hell, I wish it was still last night so that I could keep on tasting him.
But it's more than that, and I know it if I stop bein' scared long 'nough to recognize it. Deep down, it's because I'd know that he wouldn't have t'leave.
I know he has to, and I know that if anyone caught us right now, we'd never be able to deal with it. If anyone jus' happened t'walk in right now, an'catch this scene--
Bobby wouldn't ever be able t'look at me again, for the embarrassment an'shame of bein' caught wit' me. We wouldn't be able t'be in the same room, or talk ever again...
That's pretty scary too.
Once or twice, I think Jean heard us, and she's bein' really good about it. Bobby's so shy about cuddlin'. I wish he wasn't. Sometimes it's hard t'be the one that always moves first, but I kinda like not havin' t'fight and compete with him. But every time I move closer, I gotta wonder if he wants to leave.
The sun's gettin' brighter, and he's still layin' by me.
Saints, it almost makes me think he wants t'stay for good.
LeBeau, don' even THINK that. Y'don' know him, or how he feels, and if y'think that, you'll just get hurt. It's safer to jus' lay low, and deal wit' this one step at a time. Any minute now, he's gonna stand up, wit' that sheepish grin I love, and make some excuse t'leave. We both know he has to, and why, but he tries to make it sound like he'd stay if he could.
I know he doesn't really want to stay, but it's nice t'pretend.
This morning is different. He's layin' here, even as the alarm clock goes off f'training. He feels so good beside me. I love that he's stayin'. I love how he doesn't ask, not yet. I'm not gonna say I love him, because I'm not ready for that and neither is Bobby.
But there's nothin' about him that I don't adore, and that's close 'nough
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