[stories] [gallery] [albums] [links] [misc] [message board]

Disclaimer: The guys, Stormy and Rogue belong to Marvel, Milli belong to me.
Authors notes: I know this would never happen, but that scene just kept floating around in my head and I just had to write it down. :) Oh and some slash here, nothing NC-17 rated though. Lemme know what'cha think.

By Sascha

"Oh shit! It's her!" Bobby whispered frantically.

Remy looked up from the CDs he was going through. "Qoui?" They were at the mall. They were supposed to be shopping for groceries, but then Gambit had remembered that he had some CDs he'd been wanting to buy for weeks, and Bobby had remembered some magazines he wanted to buy, so.. Well, they hadn't gotten to the grocery part yet.

"Oh Gooood!" Bobby moaned. "She's heading this way! Remy, you've gotta save me!"

"How? An' why?"

"I dunno.. But you've gotta do something!"

Remy decided to follow Bobby's stare and find out who he was looking at. He blinked. "Woah!" The woman walking with firm steps towards them was tall, at least 6 feet, blonde and looked like a model. Why in the name of all things sacred would Bobby want to be rescued from her? He said that out loud and watched Bobby squirm.

"Well, see, it's complicated.. But she wants to marry me."

"Say again?"

"There's no time!" Bobby suddenly got a determined look on his face."I've got an idea.."

'--Oh-uh--' Remy thought.

"..You just play along okay? I'll owe you one!"

'Now we're talkin' my kind of language.' Remy grinned. "Deal. But remember y'll owe me. An' dat big time too, if I know y'.."

"Yeah, yeah." Bobby's arm went around Remy's waist and the younger man pulled the Cajun closer.

"What de..?" Remy exclaimed.

"Play along!" Bobby hissed. A huge fake grin appeared on his face as the model-woman came up to them.

"Hi Milli."

"Vanilli?" Remy muttered under his breath and had no problems giving Milli a brilliant grin. Well, at least not until she started talking..

"*Bobby*, I'm so *happy* to see you!" Her voice was very, very loud. "And *who* is that *absolutely* adorable man?" And she emphasized every third word or so. Remy's grin turned just as fake as Bobby's.

"Milli, this is Remy LeBeau. Remy, this is Milli Weir," Bobby introduced them, still keeping his left arm around Remy's waist.

"*Remy*, what an *adorable* name!" Milli exclaimed. "I'm so *glad* I met you! Are you one of Bobby's *friends*? He *always* talk about you! Did you *know* that?"

Remy mutely shook his head. He wasn't even going to try and charm that woman. He was pretty sure that would backfire.

"Well, he *does*! We are getting *married* you know. Bobby just have to find a *date* first!"Bobby took a deep breath.

"I'm not going to marry you," he said.

"*WHAT?*" Milli screamed. "*What* did you *say*? I cannot *believe* you said *that*! Of course we're getting *married*! What kind of *girl* do you think I *am*?" With her hands on her hips like that, she looked kind of scary, Remy decided.

"I..I..I.." Bobby stuttered.

"*What* do you have to *say* for yourself?" Milli asked, her eyes shooting lightning bolts at Bobby. Remy thought she was overreacting just a tad here. Not that he was going to say that to her. He was too fond of living.

"I've decided that I'm gay and Remy is my boyfriend and we're going to settle down and adopt some kids and stuff like that and I'm really sorry but I can't marry you because I don't think that would be such a good idea." Bobby blurted out without taking a breath.Remy and Milli stared at him in shock.

"What?" Remy said faintly. Okay, so he'd known that Bobby's idea was going to be bad, but that it was going to be *that* bad... He winced. Now he'd started emphasizing everything too. 'What a time for the boy to step out of the closet..'"

*WHAT*?!" Milli shouted. "You're *what*?!"

"Um.." Bobby swallowed and pulled Remy even closer. "I'm gay.. I was just in denial, see, but Remy here helped me realize that I was really gay, didn't you?"

"Huh?" Remy said and wondered if he could kill Bobby later. Maybe he could fix an 'accident' during a Danger Room exercise or something.. This was so going to ruin his reputation as a ladies man. And Remy had no doubts the story would be all over the mansion, not to mention the city, within a couple of hours. 'Wonder what Rogue is going to say...'

Milli turned her head to glare at Remy instead. "*YOU*!"

"Eh," Remy said. "Dis is not... He's delusional.. Forgot to take his pills today.. Y'know..."

"Humph!" Milli said. She stood there, looking at them for a while, quite obviously not enjoying what she saw. "This is a *joke*, right?" She started smiling.

"I'm afraid not," Bobby said.

Milli stopped smiling. "I don't *believe* you! You weren't gay *two*weeks ago, and now *suddenly* you are? Do you *know* what my brothers would *do* to you if they found out that you had *left* me at the alter?"

Remy didn't know about Bobby, but he was getting some pretty vivid pictures of what Milli's brothers would do to Bobby. Of course in his mind he was standing there cheering them on..

"I told you, I was in denial," Bobby said. He obviously wasn't going to back up now.

"In *denial* my ass! You just don't want to *marry* me, is that it?"

Remy almost nodded, but Bobby was looking desperately at him, and well, he just couldn't. 'I'm too nice,' he told himself. 'I'm just too goddamn nice!'

"That's not it at all!" Bobby protested and lied through his teeth."I'd love to marry you, but since I'm gay I don't think that would be such a good idea."

"HA!" Milli said. She folded her arms over her chest. "Alright, if he's your *boyfriend*, I suppose you *kiss* each other once in a while, *right*?"

"...Yeah?" Bobby said slowly.

'She's not going to say what I think she's going to say,' Gambit tried to convince himself. 'She's not!'

"Then *kiss* him!"

'Merde. She is.'

"What?" Bobby looked shocked. Hadn't been expecting that most likely, Remy thought. Maybe that would teach him to think things through? Nah.

"Here? Now?" Bobby continued.

Milli nodded. "Yes. *Here*, *now*."

"But, but, but," Bobby stuttered.

"I *knew* it!" Milli said triumphantly. "He's *not* your boyfriend, is he? And *you're* not gay, this is just a *joke*, isn't it?"

Remy could feel Bobby tense and suddenly he knew that he would kiss him if it meant that he could escape Milli and the wedding. 'No WAY! A mans gotta draw the line somewhere! I'm not *that* bloody nice!'

Well, since Bobby acted rather quickly once he'd decided on something, Remy didn't have much time to draw anything before Bobby turned around, used the arm he still had around his waist to pull him closer and kissed him. Remy opened his mouth to object and somehow managed to deepen what Bobby had intended to be only a light kiss on the lips. 'Oh hell,' Remy thought. 'Well, the damage has already been done. I might as well help him out.. But he's going to owe me  for this.' He moved his arms around Bobby's waist.

'Who would have thought Bobby was such a good kisser?' he thought a little later when Bobby pulled away. He glanced around to see if Milli was still there. She wasn't. He breathed a sigh of relieve.

"Bobby," he said.

"Huh?" Bobby was looking at him with a confused expression on his face. He was actually kind of cute. No he wasn't. Not at all. 'Bobby, cute? Did I mistake a joint for a cigarette about ten minutes ago or what? Nevermind that.' Remy decided to ponder about that later. Right now he had some favors to cash in. Literally speaking. He held up the three CDs he wanted to buy. "Y' remember y' said y' were gonna owe me?"

"Yeah?" Now Bobby was looking suspiciously at him.

Remy gave Bobby the CDs. "Y' can start payin' off y'r debt by buyin' me dese t'ree."

Bobby grabbed the CDs, then turned them around to check the prize."What? Are you nuts? Do you have any idea how much these costs?"

Remy nodded. "Yup."

"Man, I can't believe you're making me buy you CDs!"

"An' do de monitor watchin' for me de next two weeks," Remy added. They started walking towards the cash register.

"No way!"

"An' Stormy said she needed someone to help her wit' de plants," he continued.

"Are you kidding me? She's covering them in muck as we're speaking!"

"So? Oh an' .."

"Oh c'mon! I don't owe you *that* much!"

"Oh yes y' do!"

"I do not!"

"Y' do as I say or I'll get de surveillance tape from de mall an' show it to de others." Remy hoped he wouldn't have to follow through with that threat.

"What surveillance tape?"

Remy nodded towards a camera in a corner. "De one from dat camera."

"You wouldn't.. Would you?"

Remy grinned. "Wanna bet?"

Bobby sighed. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" He kept shaking his head as Remy thought up things for him to do. All of them were stuff Remy should have done or had promised to do as a favor for someone.

"Oh well," Bobby said when Remy couldn't come up with any more chores for him to do. "I suppose it's worth it."

"Trust me, it's worth it. Y' got away from dat woman, didn't y'?"

Bobby nodded. "Not what I was thinking about, but yeah, I did. Thanks by the way."

"Y're welcome. Now, go pay for my CDs."


[update] [contact me] [profiles] [dwyc] [poison flower] [I hate you]