"Oh shit! It's her!" Bobby whispered frantically.
looked up from the CDs he was going through. "Qoui?" They were at the
mall. They were supposed to be shopping for groceries, but then Gambit
had remembered that he had some CDs he'd been wanting to buy for
weeks, and Bobby had remembered some magazines he wanted to buy, so..
Well, they hadn't gotten to the grocery part yet.
Bobby moaned. "She's heading this way! Remy, you've gotta save
"How? An' why?"
"I dunno.. But you've gotta do something!"
Remy decided to
follow Bobby's stare and find out who he was looking at. He blinked.
"Woah!" The woman walking with firm steps towards them was tall, at
least 6 feet, blonde and looked like a model. Why in the name of all
things sacred would Bobby want to be rescued from her? He said that
out loud and watched Bobby squirm.
"Well, see, it's complicated.. But she wants to marry
"There's no time!" Bobby suddenly got
a determined look on his face."I've got an
'--Oh-uh--' Remy thought.
play along okay? I'll owe you one!"
'Now we're talkin' my
kind of language.' Remy grinned. "Deal. But remember y'll owe me.
An' dat big time too, if I know y'.."
"Yeah, yeah." Bobby's arm
went around Remy's waist and the younger man pulled the Cajun
"What de..?" Remy exclaimed.
"Play along!" Bobby
hissed. A huge fake grin appeared on his face as the model-woman came
up to them.
"Vanilli?" Remy muttered under his breath and
had no problems giving Milli a brilliant grin. Well, at least not
until she started talking..
"*Bobby*, I'm so
*happy* to see you!" Her voice was very, very loud.
"And *who* is that *absolutely*
adorable man?" And she emphasized every third word or so. Remy's grin
turned just as fake as Bobby's.
"Milli, this is Remy LeBeau. Remy, this is Milli Weir," Bobby
introduced them, still keeping his left arm around Remy's
"*Remy*, what an
*adorable* name!" Milli exclaimed. "I'm so
*glad* I met you! Are you one of Bobby's
*friends*? He *always* talk about
you! Did you *know* that?"
Remy mutely shook
his head. He wasn't even going to try and charm that woman. He was
pretty sure that would backfire.
*does*! We are getting *married* you
know. Bobby just have to find a *date* first!"Bobby
took a deep breath.
"I'm not going to marry you," he
"*WHAT?*" Milli screamed.
"*What* did you *say*? I cannot
*believe* you said *that*! Of course
we're getting *married*! What kind of
*girl* do you think I *am*?" With
her hands on her hips like that, she looked kind of scary, Remy
"*What* do you have to
*say* for yourself?" Milli asked, her eyes shooting
lightning bolts at Bobby. Remy thought she was overreacting just a tad
here. Not that he was going to say that to her. He was too fond of
"I've decided that I'm gay and Remy is my boyfriend and we're going
to settle down and adopt some kids and stuff like that and I'm really
sorry but I can't marry you because I don't think that would be such a
good idea." Bobby blurted out without taking a breath.Remy and Milli
stared at him in shock.
"What?" Remy said faintly. Okay, so
he'd known that Bobby's idea was going to be bad, but that it was
going to be *that* bad... He winced. Now he'd started
emphasizing everything too. 'What a time for the boy to step out
of the closet..'"
*WHAT*?!" Milli shouted. "You're
"Um.." Bobby swallowed and pulled
Remy even closer. "I'm gay.. I was just in denial, see, but Remy here
helped me realize that I was really gay, didn't you?"
Remy said and wondered if he could kill Bobby later. Maybe he could
fix an 'accident' during a Danger Room exercise or something.. This
was so going to ruin his reputation as a ladies man. And Remy had no
doubts the story would be all over the mansion, not to mention the
city, within a couple of hours. 'Wonder what Rogue is going to
Milli turned her head to glare at Remy instead.
"Eh," Remy said. "Dis is not... He's
delusional.. Forgot to take his pills today..
"Humph!" Milli said. She stood there, looking at
them for a while, quite obviously not enjoying what she saw. "This is
a *joke*, right?" She started smiling.
"I'm afraid not," Bobby said.
Milli stopped smiling. "I don't *believe* you! You
weren't gay *two*weeks ago, and now
*suddenly* you are? Do you *know*
what my brothers would *do* to you if they found out
that you had *left* me at the alter?"
didn't know about Bobby, but he was getting some pretty vivid pictures
of what Milli's brothers would do to Bobby. Of course in his mind he
was standing there cheering them on..
"I told you, I was in
denial," Bobby said. He obviously wasn't going to back up now.
"In *denial* my ass! You just don't want to
*marry* me, is that it?"
Remy almost nodded,
but Bobby was looking desperately at him, and well, he just couldn't.
'I'm too nice,' he told himself. 'I'm just too goddamn
"That's not it at all!" Bobby protested and lied
through his teeth."I'd love to marry you, but since I'm gay I don't
think that would be such a good idea."
"HA!" Milli said. She folded her arms over her chest. "Alright, if
he's your *boyfriend*, I suppose you
*kiss* each other once in a while,
"...Yeah?" Bobby said
'She's not going to say what I think she's going to
say,' Gambit tried to convince himself. 'She's not!'
"Then *kiss* him!"
'Merde. She is.'
"What?" Bobby looked shocked. Hadn't been expecting that most
likely, Remy thought. Maybe that would teach him to think things
"Here? Now?" Bobby continued.
Milli nodded. "Yes. *Here*,
"But, but, but," Bobby
"I *knew* it!" Milli said
triumphantly. "He's *not* your boyfriend, is he? And
*you're* not gay, this is just a
*joke*, isn't it?"
Remy could feel Bobby tense
and suddenly he knew that he would kiss him if it meant that he could
escape Milli and the wedding. 'No WAY! A mans gotta draw the line
somewhere! I'm not *that* bloody nice!'
Well, since Bobby acted rather quickly once he'd decided on
something, Remy didn't have much time to draw anything before Bobby
turned around, used the arm he still had around his waist to pull him
closer and kissed him. Remy opened his mouth to object and somehow
managed to deepen what Bobby had intended to be only a light kiss on
the lips. 'Oh hell,' Remy thought. 'Well, the damage has
already been done. I might as well help him out.. But he's going to
owe me for this.' He moved his arms around Bobby's
'Who would have thought Bobby was such a good
kisser?' he thought a little later when Bobby pulled away. He
glanced around to see if Milli was still there. She wasn't. He
breathed a sigh of relieve.
"Bobby," he said.
"Huh?" Bobby was looking at him with a
confused expression on his face. He was actually kind of cute. No he
wasn't. Not at all. 'Bobby, cute? Did I mistake a joint for a
cigarette about ten minutes ago or what? Nevermind that.' Remy
decided to ponder about that later. Right now he had some favors to
cash in. Literally speaking. He held up the three CDs he wanted to
buy. "Y' remember y' said y' were gonna owe me?"
Bobby was looking suspiciously at him.
Remy gave Bobby the CDs.
"Y' can start payin' off y'r debt by buyin' me dese t'ree."
Bobby grabbed the CDs, then turned them around to check the
prize."What? Are you nuts? Do you have any idea how much these
Remy nodded. "Yup."
"Man, I can't believe you're making me
buy you CDs!"
"An' do de monitor watchin' for me de next two
weeks," Remy added. They started walking towards the cash
"An' Stormy said she needed someone
to help her wit' de plants," he continued.
"Are you kidding me?
She's covering them in muck as we're speaking!"
"So? Oh an'
"Oh c'mon! I don't owe you *that* much!"
"Oh yes y' do!"
"I do not!"
"Y' do as I say or I'll get de surveillance tape
from de mall an' show it to de others." Remy hoped he wouldn't have to
follow through with that threat.
Remy nodded towards a camera in a corner. "De one from
"You wouldn't.. Would you?"
Remy grinned. "Wanna bet?"
Bobby sighed. "Okay, what do you want me to do?" He kept shaking
his head as Remy thought up things for him to do. All of them were
stuff Remy should have done or had promised to do as a favor for
"Oh well," Bobby said when Remy couldn't come up with any more
chores for him to do. "I suppose it's worth it."
it's worth it. Y' got away from dat woman, didn't y'?"
nodded. "Not what I was thinking about, but yeah, I did. Thanks by the
"Y're welcome. Now, go pay for my CDs."