Disclaimer: I know they're not mine, you know they're not, they know they're not. I'm making no cash from this. *makes weird jedi mindtrick motions with hand* There will be no suing from anyone.

Comments: Sequel to 'Post-Coital Bliss' by River, which is the sequel to 'Fucking' by yours truly.
Archive: I Hate You


Blow Job
By Sascha


She wasn't Jackie. But then, Jackie wasn't even Jackie, so it didn't matter. I stumbled towards the hotelroom, halfway pulling her after me, and halfway her pulling me after her. I was shitfaced drunk, which is what I've been more or less for seven days in a row. Trying to forget.

Didn't work, really.

I saw blue eyes whenever I closed my eyes anyway, but at least it numbed things. A little.

She giggled, the woman that was with me now. A loud, piercing sound that would at any other time have annoyed me beyond belief.

She was real.

Jackie wasn't.

Nothing about Jackie had been real. Hell, not even her gender. I got the shock of my life when I opened my eyes and saw Jackie's face shifting, melting, slowly away, revealing a masculine face. The eyes were the same, I remember, but everything else changed. Full lips turned thin, oval face turned square, pretty nose broad. Pleasure, then shock, then... fear? Then nothing as he gathered his clothes and ran out of the room.

I keep seeing that scene in my head. Over and over again. Everytime I close my eyes.

Had even any of it been real?

The vulnerability I thought I'd seen in her eyes, had that been real or just an act?

I couldn't tell.

I thought I could back then, but now I wasn't sure of anything any more.

Would you be if the courier who offered you her body in trade for a job, suddenly turned out not to be a she after all? A not-she who apparently disappeared off the face of the earth directly after you found out? Yeah, I'd tried to find her. Why I'm not entirely sure. Maybe I just wanted to ask why.

But of course, Hammer, that bitch, wasn't talking. Not even considering talking. In fact she threw me out of her office, while pointing out the point of having a courier in the first place. When I came back and pointed a gun at her, she reluctantly told me that Jackie had told her to take a hike and that she had no idea where Jackie was now.

I didn't believe her one second, but sometimes you have to face defeat.

And six-seven security officers.

After that, I got shitfaced. And stayed that way.

I used the keycard to open the door, and more or less tumbled inside, the woman in front of me. She giggled again.

I walked into her as she suddenly stopped dead at the sight of the bed. Huh? I slowly realised that there was someone on the bed and looked around her.

I saw jeans clad legs, crossed at the ankles and brown socks. I pushed what'shername aside and saw the whole person. I looked up. Black t-shirt, hands shuffling cards, black shades pushed on top of his head, and an impassionate stare my way. He was slightly blurry, so I blinked, hoping that would clear things up a little. Red on black eyes. Why did that sound familiar? ...Oh right. Gambit.

"What'cha doin' here?" I slurred out.

"We have to talk." No charming accent, no emotions in his voice. Upper class British, cold. ~Don't underestimate him, not ever~ someone's voice says in my head.

He's an X-Man.

Kitty is an X-Man. A cold fear suddenly grips my stomach. She might have dumped me two years ago, that didn't mean I wouldn't grieve if she got hurt, killed or, worse, married. I realised that Gambit had no intentions of telling me anything as long as what'sherface - Judy? Jill? Janice? - was there, so I pushed her out of the door and locked it behind her, ignoring her surprised and insulted cries.

I walked over to the bar and poured myself a shot, tossed it down, then turned to look at Gambit again. He'd made his cards disappear and had his arms crossed over his chest now, face still not revealing anything.

"Talk," I said, trying to sound as thought the room wasn't really spinning around and around and around.

He didn't buy it. "Sit down before you fall down first. I don't feel like hauling your sorry arse into the shower."

I sat down. On the floor. Well, it was closest, okay?

He sighed, then let himself slide down on the floor beside me. He looked at me.

I looked back. "Well?"

"I've been trying to puzzle this together, but I think I might be missing some facts," he said cryptically. "I was hoping you could help me out there. I could ask him, of course, but he'd just tell me to go to hell."

I blinked at him.

"If you say that you have no idea what I'm talking about, I will be forced to hurt you severely. Just so you know."

"But I --"

He didn't even let me get started. "I saw him running out of your hotel room, wearing pretty much nothing, all right?"

Huh? "Listen, mate, I think you've got the wrong --"

"No, I don't." He said it firmly, without any doubt whatsoever in his voice.

"Well, I don't know what Kitty's been telling you, but I'm not the type to have naked men running out of my hotelroom..." I trailled off. Shocked blue eyes. Jackie. My god.

"Finally," he said in satisfaction. "It's beginning to dawn on you. About time. Now, care to share some information with me?"

"'Pends."

"On what?"

"On whether or not you care to share some information with me."

He arched an eyebrow. "What do you want to know?"

"Where's Jackie? Why--"

"You don't..." He interrupted, then broke off. He stared at me. I could see him thinking lightning quick about something. My own thought process was at the time somewhat sluggish to tell the truth. He didn't have that problem. "You don't know who ... Jackie .. is, do you?"

I shook my head and kept shaking it for a bit.

Gambit looked at the ceiling. "Jake... What in the world have you got yourself into this time?" Jackie.

Hm.

Yeah.

"That's... Jake. Jackie?" I said. "You know Jackie?"

"Your not as dumb as you look. Yeah, I know Jackie. Better than you do, it would seem."

And everything suddenly got even more puzzling. If Jackie had Gambit, then why had she even bothered with me? I wasn't stupid, or blind. I knew Gambit was a hell of a better catch than I was. Yeah, work. Hammer. But there were other ways. That was just the easiest way for a single agent. Agents in a relationship chose other ways. Mostly.

Maybe I really didn't know Jackie at all.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise, but somehow it still did.

Gambit waved his hand in front of my eyes. "Hello? Anybody home? Wisdom? Okay, that's it. I'm shoving you in the shower, fixing you my miracle cure and sobering you up. This is futile."

Four hours later he sat crosslegged on my bed, while I paced in front of him.

"...love. You'd think I was a rookie right out of secret agent school, or something. No, a rookie would have been smarter. You don't get emotionally attached, it's just not done. I know that. And still. Bloody hell, I'm stupid. She. He. Whatever must have been laughing herself - himself - breathless. Pete Wisdom, Black Air, WHO, Excalibur, falling in love with a courier! She must think I'm still wet behind my ears." I turned to look at him. I knew he had to be laughing at me, but sometimes you have to look at people when you're in a tiny hotel room. It's inevitable.

He wasn't laughing. He looked thoughtful. Pitying.

"And that's it. That's the whole sordid, fucking, tale. Going to tell me where Jackie is now?"

He looked at me, a small frown on his face. "In a moment. I'm rearranging some... assumptions in my head."

"Huh?"

"I thought... Well, it doesn't really matter now." He gave me a wry look. "Should teach me never to assume things when Jake is involved, eh?"

I just looked uncomprehendingly back at him and wondered if he'd tell me where Jackie was if I pointed a gun at him. Probably not. He'd probably already nicked the bullets.

"Anyway. I promised you I'd tell you, didn't I?"

I nodded.

"Jackie's real name is Jacob Gavin jr, by the way," he informed me.

I sat down.

"I'm guessing, you didn't know?"

"Gavin? Gavin Gavin? As in... Infonet Gavin? But that's impossible! That's... That's... Oh fuck."

"Thought so." A quick grin flashed over his face and he looked a little guilty. "It was my fault, you know."

I blinked at him. I knew he was on an entirely different page than I was, and not knowing what the hell he was talking about was slightly unnerving. "What was?"

"Jackie."

I kept blinking at him.

He made an impatient gesture. "It's a long story, but Jake ended up stuck like Jackie for a bit over a year. He was incredibly pissed at me, by the way. Didn't get his own shape back until a couple of months ago."

This disturbed me. Why, I wasn't sure.

Shouldn't I be glad? Jackie had been real.

Sort of.

For a while.

But why hadn't she said anything?

I snorted at myself. Yeah, I could just picture that conversation. 'Oh and by the way, Wisdom, you've been fucking the heir of Infonet International, the world wide courier service. The male heir. And since I've got my body back now, I'm sorry but this--' My thoughts stopped.

"She got... I mean, he got his body back a couple of months ago?"

Gambit nodded.

I frowned. "But he was always... I only saw Jackie. Except from.. But that wasn't on purpose, I don't think."

"No, probably wasn't. Jake didn't..." he trailled off.

I looked at him. "Jake didn't what?"

"Jake didn't like Jackie very much," Gambit sighed. "He didn't see any advantages to being her and he couldn't keep shifting. He barely got any work, which I'm not actually supposed to know, so don't tell him, and everybody was treating him differently. I came over him trashing one of his apartments once. An old classmate had hit on him, he told me."

"Oh." I frowned. No wonder Jackie hadn't seemed very happy most of the time. There was one thing I was wondering about though. I nodded my head towards Gambit. "Are you two..."

He gave me a puzzled look, then figured out what I was asking and grinned. "No. No, we're not involved. Oddly, the fact that I keep risking his life, isn't a big turnon."

"But the adrenalin rush should..." I paused, realising that I didn't really want to know whether or not Gambit and Jackie - Jake - had had sex. "Never mind."

He laughed at me. "I can honestly tell you that I've never slept with Jake or Jackie. Whether or not you believe me is entirely up to you."

Uh-huh.

"So. You said you could tell me where Jackie is?"

"Jake. Call him Jake," Gambit adviced. "He hates being called Jackie."

I shook my head impatiently. "Whatever. The address?"

He tilted his head considringly. "What are you going to do with it?"

"I.."

"Yes?"

"I... I don't know. He probably doesn't want to see me, I know, I just..."

"Want to talk to him?" Gambit suggested.

"Yeah. I guess."

"Ask him why?"

I narrrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm very good at putting myself in other peoples shoes," he explained. "Well, that, and 'why' is generally the question everybody wants to ask Jake. He moves in mysterious ways."

"Does he talk to you?"

"Talk to me? Well, yeah, how else do -- Oh. No. No, he doesn't."

"He hardly said a word to me if he could help it."

He looked surprised. "He didn't go on and on about whatever thought that occoured to him? No whining?"

I looked equally surprised back at him.

"Huh. You really have seen a side of him I never see."

"The address?" I was starting to think Gambit had no idea where Jake was.

"Oh right. He's in Washington. He's in the book under J. Gavin jr." He rolled out of the bed and got on his feet. "Adieu, m'sieu Wisdom. Good luck."

And I was alone.

Good luck, eh?

Well, thanks.

I went to find my suitcase. Next stop: Washington.



[Fucking]
[Post-Coital Bliss]
[Blow Job]


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