Disclaimer: The characters belong to Marvel comics.

Puttering Around
By Reverdy


"What's wrong?"

"This toliet seat's wet!" Jennifer could hear Jake scrambling to rip off what sounded like the entire roll of toliet paper. "Why the hell would the a toliet seat in the _women's_ restroom be wet?! It's not like they have to aim or anything!"

She couldn't help laughing at that. As the Sensational She-Hulk, Jennifer Walters knew Jacob Gavin, Jr. as an international info-hoarder who tended to work for the bad guys. As Jennifer Walters, attorney-at-law, she knew him as a money-hungry business-man who was willing to sacrifice almost anything to get what he wanted. However, as just plain Jennifer, Jake wasn't any of those things; he was just her best friend. At the moment, he was her very pissed-off friend.

The door of the stall next to hers flew open, and Jake stormed out. "I don't even want to think about what that puddle of clear stuff on the floor is!"

"Did you think that only guys are capable of being disgusting?" Jennifer asked.

"Well, yeah." he answered sheepishly.

"Uh, Jake? What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he inquired as he climbed ontop of the counter.

"It looks like you're mooning yourself."

"Well, I'm not. I'm cleaning my ass. Call me crazy, but I don't like being covered with other people's pee."

"That's gross, Jake."

"You think I don't know that?"

"I guess you do, but...." She glanced toward the door. "What if someone comes in?"

"Since when do you have a sense of modesty?"

"Hey, I'm modest!"

"Uh-hu. Riiiight. Jen, you run around in an itty-bitty leotard most of the time, and when you're not wearing that, you're wearing Ally McBeal-length skirts. And just because I'm such a nice guy, I won't mention a certain issue of Playboy.

"You do not want to go there with me, Jake! Or should I say 'Jackie'?" He looked offended, but then he smiled.

"Okay, that's fair. I poke your sore spot, you poke mine. That should do it." Giving his hiney on last scrub, he pulled up his jeans and jumped down. Studying his beautiful face, he scowled and stuck out his tongue. Jennifer grinned at his annoyance. One of the reasons that she enjoyed having Jake as a friend was because not only did he not envy or lust over her beauty, he didn't even want his own since he hated being a woman. Catching the flash of white teeth in a green face, Jake smiled back.

"Shall we get back to our game?"

"But of course." Jennifer took his arm, and they strolled out of the unsanitary bathroom to collect their putters.

"Where were we?"

"I think we were at the windmill." Jake pointed at the garishly painted structure. Jennifer turned to where he was pointing, and a small boy with bright red hair caught her eye.

"Jake, look!" She motioned wildly for him to look in the direction opposite from the child. Unfortunately, Jake saw the kid at the same time she did and was not fooled by her attempt to distract him.

"It's that little brat who dented my car!"

"Jake, you hit him!"

"I barely nudged him! It's not like he's hurt or-- Did you see that?! That little dillweed flipped me off! Yeah, same to you kid!"

"You are aware that you're making obscene gestures at a seven year-old, right?"

"Somebody needs to put that snide little jerk in his place, Jen."

"I don't know. He reminds me of you."

Jake turned to glare at her. "That's not funny."

"Yes, it is." She bent to swing at the ball. The ball shot between the blades of the windmill perfectly.

"No, it isn't. I'll tell you what is funny, though."

"And what's that?"

"That you have the hots for Bobby Drake."

"I do not have the hots for him! I just think that he's cute! That doesn't mean that I want him to be my love-slave or anything."

"So you have thought about him in a love-slave context, huh?"

"Shut up and swing, Gavin." Laughing, he obeyed. He missed.

"Drake would never ask you out, you know."

"Because he's shy?"

"No, because he's gay."

"He is not!"

"It's true! Let me put it in mathematical terms. Let's let x represent Drake's gayness." He ignored Jennifer's sputter of laughter. "If x equals infinity, how gay is Drake?"


"Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!"

"You are such a nerd."

"I know." He scowled as she make another perfect shot. She was winning 20 to 4. In his humble opinion, Putt-Putt sucked.

"You know, Jake, I wouldn't think that you'd be making fun of gay people."

"I'm not making fun of Drake because he's gay. I'm making fun of you because you like him!"

"So you are sure that he's gay?"

"Yes, I'm sure!"

"Do you know from experience?" she asked mischeviously.

"NO! Wolverine told me when I was visiting one day."


"Yeah. He said, 'Look, Gavin, the girls don't know it, but Ice gets kinda fiesty when he's drunk. So if he gets sloshed, stay female--for everybody's sake.'"

"It's nice that he's looking out for you," commented Jennifer, ducking as Jake's riccetting ball flew over her head.

"I guess. Hey, those little girls are staring at you."


"Over there." He pointed to three rather slutty-looking girls next to the concession stand. Jennifer waved at them, and they shyly waved back. One of them, after much poking and prodding from her friends, walked over to Jake and Jennifer.`

"Hi. May I have your autograph, Ms. She-Hulk?" The girl held out a photo.

"Sure, sweetie. What's your name?"

"Mary." She shifted from foot to foot as she stared adoringly up at Jennifer.

"Well, Mary, here you go," Jennifer handed the photo back. Mumbling her thanks and clutching the picture to her chest, the girl ran back to where her friends were anxiously waiting.

"That was sweet."

"Yes, it was, but don't think that I didn't see you cheat!"

"Meeee? Cheat?! Jen, I'm hurt!"

"Bull. You picked up the ball and threw it in!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"


Arguing happily, they continued on their game.

The end

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