disclaimer: Marvel owns them all. I'm only doing this for amusement. I'm making zilch. If you sue me, the only thing you'll get is some old poems and maybe a picture of Bob Dylan. If I can part with one.
author's notes: I just had this thought yesterday after finishing "Giving Thanks" and it seemed so very much like Jubilee that I had to write it. It's a homage to Kitty's video journal from the X-Men Wedding Album that most people have probably never heard of, let alone read. It's got some spiffy character development folks, let me tell you! Thanks: to Ella and Chyld and Sascha and Rex and Yuhri and Zin and Gina. They all know what they did ^-^ And, no, nobody betad this - so any faults are all my fault.
// Designates Jubilee's voice on the camera.
//And we've got go! This is J-Lee reporting for X News on the recent explosive revelation that... Wolvie and that fuzzy blue guy from Excalibur are fucking! Yes, you heard it right: Logan and Kurt are shacking up and they announced the news over Thanksgiving. It makes me so proud! And, now, with the beat on the street, I've come to give you some other reactions:
So, 'Ro, what do you think about the news?//
If you call me 'Ro again child, I will seriously consider electrocuting you.
//Oooh, touchy! So the news must have pissed you off something bad then? Maybe you have a secret crush on one of our lovebirds, huh?//
Jubilation, get that camera out of my face. Now. It is not any of my business. Or yours, I might add.
//Oh, come on Storm. You gotta admit they're cute together...//
::sigh:: All right. They seem to go well together. If they're happy, I'm happy for them. Now. Leave. Me. Alone.
//Sheesh, ask a question, get some serious static cling. Maybe the Hankster will be more receptive. What's the word big, blue and fuzzy?//
Don't even ask the question, my dear Miss Lee. All I'm concerned with at the moment is the philosophical ramifications of gorging myself on saccharine-filled substances.
//In English, Blue.//
Will eating five boxes of Twinkies hinder my work?
//Dunno. But I can help you eat 'em. And I hate to mention it, Hank, but that doesn't have a thing to do with Logan and Kurt doing the big nasty.//
I didn't intend for it to apply to that at all. But, if you must know, I think they're cute. Logan has good taste in fur. Now, where did I put those Twinkies...
//Mental note: find Hank later and help him eat Twinkies.
And here comes the mother load now: Jean, I-still-don't-have-a-code- name-kiss-my-big-toe-and-you-might-not-know-it-but-I-like-women, Grey and Scott, If-I-had-the-balls-I'd-be-balling-Logan, Summers. I heard Jean took the news great but what about old fearless. Are the rumors true, Cyke?//
//Mental note: Do not antagonize a telepathic/telekinetic bitch or a closeted guy with optic blasts.
And now we'll get the opinions of the mansion's other out couple. Otherwise known as Gumbo and The Popsicle!//
//If they can stop sucking face for one minute that is...//
::extra long pause::
//Are you two coming up for air or what?//
::and the pause continues::
//Oh, forget it already! I'll just go and ask the Prof. Surely he has something to say 'bout it...//
Don't even think about coming in here, child! I'm...er...
//No fucking way! Did you just hear what I heard? Stay tuned folks, we may have another scoop coming shortly: Men in wheelchairs and the Magnetic guys who love them. This could be big. This could be huge! This could be--//
"Aw, Wolvie, what'd you have to go and do that for?"
"Ya pissed off Jeannie, kid. That ain't good in my book."
"But I was just kidding!"
"Yeah, whatever. What you tryin' to do with that thing anway?"
"Well? Jeannie wouldn't say..."
"She wouldn't? Oh, well that's swell of Jean. She's a real team player. Takes one for the team. Definitely on my side, ya know? I think I'll just go apologize to her right now...she's probably with Betts..."
"Ach, where did the fraulein go?"
"She ran off. Weird kid."
"Too bad. I was going to talk to her about..." ::blink:: "Mein Gott, is that the Professor and Magneto?!!"
"Damn. I didn't think you could do that in a wheelchair..."
"Ach, nein. Still it's kind of sexy..."
"In a funky sort of way."
"Want to go shag, schatz?"
"Never thought you'd mention it!"
//Ha...and they didn't think I had a backup camera... And that's Jubilation Lee reporting for X News! Tune in next time, same X Time, same X Channel when we explore the other side of mansion romances. Featuring yours truly and her main squeeze, Monet, I-taste-like- strawberries, St. Croix!//
"I am not talking to you again anytime soon, Jubilation Lee!"
"Well shoot me for telling the truth!"
::pointed glare in return::
--And in the Professor's study--
"See, I told you we could do that in a wheelchair!"